


"Fo-inne!"

by JustLookFrightenedAndScuttle



Series: post 3.11 [1]
Category: Check Please! (Webcomic)
Genre: Ficlet, M/M, Post 3.11
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-01
Updated: 2016-10-01
Packaged: 2018-08-18 23:54:16
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8180608
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JustLookFrightenedAndScuttle/pseuds/JustLookFrightenedAndScuttle
Summary: Bitty gets his first fine.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I actually started this before Ngozi's blog post noting that Jack and Bitty were subject to copious fines! Not beta'd, so please tell me about any mistakes.

Bitty stood up and tugged Jack’s hand to get him to stand as well.

“C’mon, sweetheart. You said you had to be back in Providence by noon,” he said.

Ransom and Holster, just standing up from the other side of the table, looked at each other, then at Bitty, before singing out “Fo-iine!” in unison.

Bitty reddened a bit, and then said, “I guess you got me. I'll put the money in the jar when we get back to the Haus.”

Lardo, following Jack out, looked up. 

“Wait a minute,” she said. “I thought we agreed not to fine Bitty.”

Bitty looked confused.

“Because we know you spend more of your own money on ingredients and supplies than you ever tell anyone about,” Lardo said. “Fining you -- to pay for the things you turn into actual, edible food -- seemed a little much.”

“But I eat the food, too!” Bitty said. “When did you decide not to fine me?”

“Yeah, but brah, you also make it,” Shitty said. “We could talk about the value of unpaid labor, or about how labor traditionally performed by women --”

Lardo elbowed him. “Very important, but not now.”

“And I don't bake because anyone makes me,” Bitty said. “I like it.”

“Bits, have you ever been fined?” Lardo asked. “When you use every pet name in the book for your oven and and sweet talk your pies and cookies?” 

“Anyway, it seems reasonable not to fine you as long as your activities are benefiting the team to the extent they do,” Shitty said.

“No, bro,” Ransom said. “It seemed reasonable until we realized that we’d have to see and listen to all this …. adorableness all the time.”

“And until we could acknowledge that Bits’ boyfriend is bringing home an NHL salary,” Holster added.

“Wait,” Ransom said. “Jack, are you Bitty’s sugar daddy?”

Bitty gasped and Jack started, “Rans, I don’t think …”

“I think I provide far more sugar to y’all than anyone else,” Bitty broke in, with a giggle. “It’s all right, Jack. He was just chirping me. And you did buy me an oven.”

“Everyone chipped in,” Jack protested.

“Brah, you let the rest of us give $20 each, and you paid the rest,” Shitty said. “I think it could reasonably be said that you bought him an oven.”

Bitty looked at Jack with a wide grin.

“And I love it very much,” he said.

“Fo-inne!” Ransom and Holster shouted again.

“Now wait a minute,” Jack said. “I don’t think it’s fair to fine him for expressing affection towards the oven … the oven you all benefit from, eh?”

Ransom and Holster looked at each other. “I guess that’s fair.”

“Or food, or any other baking equipment,” Jack continued. “Shits, you’re the lawyer. Anything I should add?”

“Maybe a penalty clause if they try?” Shitty said. “Like no baked goods for them?” “Wait!”

“No!”

“Hold up a minute!”

Ransom, Holster and Bitty all protested.

Bitty continued. “They’re my captains! I’m not gonna cut them off!”

“No worries,” Holster said. “I think it’s fair. For Bitty, the only pet names and public displays of affection that are finable are those directed towards living things, by which I mean our illustrious predecessor.”

“Dude, yeast,” Ransom said.

“Right. OK, human beings,” Holster said.

“It's OK,” Bitty said. “I'll just have to watch what I say around y’all. Oh, gosh, I'm gonna have to pay attention when I talk to you when I’m baking.”

“Deal,” Jack said.

Then he pulled his wallet from his hip pocket and pulled out five twenties.

“Take any fines for Bitty out of this,” he said. “Bits, _lapinou,_ don’t ever worry about what you say to me. Ready to go, guys?”

“But we haven’t paid,” Holster said. “I mean, you haven’t paid, because Ransom’s got me, right, dude?”

“We’re good,” Jack said. “We can go.”

“You mean you already paid for everything?” Holster said.

“Brah, you can’t always do that,” Shitty said.

“No, I won’t,” Jack said. “But this morning was kind of a big deal for Bitty and I, so I called ahead and made arrangements.”

“Bros, didn’t you notice we’re literally the only ones here?” Lardo said. “I mean, I know you hadn’t had coffee yet when you got here. But it’s been, like, an hour. Hockey players, I swear.”

**Author's Note:**

> Come say hi on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/justlookfrightened)!


End file.
